a start

Countless resolves to change my life in one way or another have passed through my lips, flowed from my pen or simply circulated dizzyingly around my mind. New Year's day always seems apt; other people, too, are attempting to do that one thing which will make their life 'better'. Despite buying into this idea every year around, and finding numerous other occasions for making these transformative decisions, somewhere inside I know that everything will not magically be 'better' on the basis of a sentence written down somewhere or a half-formulated resolve which ends up evolving into multiple notions lacking clear definition and evasive realisability.The latter convoluted sentence expresses just how unfeasible and ridiculous my resolutions have become. By extending them beyond themselves, and adding on infinite clauses, I seem to be hoping that 'one' idea holds a magic key, capable of unlocking entire new realms of experience.

Casting aside the image of a fairytale ending that neatly ties together all loose threads, I am going to begin trying to live some of these past manifestos which I have presiovusly, necessarily, abandoned. This time I will simplify my resolutions so that they are coherent and don't require me to transcend human experience or to abandon any semblance of my present life. I feel it's only fair, to myself and to my ideas, to give them all a chance; by making one resolve every week and, ideally, sticking to it, maybe I will find out which were worth making. Which were possible and whether they tell me anything about how I want to live my life. I am often struck, and fascinated, by the infinite ways people live their lives and the attitudes they hold; people who ostensibly live similar existences to me, the more I get to know them, reveal completely different modes of being, ways of thinking and doing. This may be an obvious point, however these constant realisations lead me to wonder about choices I have made; are they really best for me? are they really what I want? or are they simply patterns I've fallen into? Considering this, not all my resolutions will be of the type which promote the flourishing of the soul, also, hopefully, they will satiate some areas of my curiosity as to the different lives available to me, and how decisions on the most basic things can affect daily life. Between material, tangible resolutions and ideas or attitudes, I hope to find out more about what I want from life; what makes things funner, what makes me more productive, and whether the principles that various groups of society hold up as liberating, the answer, the solution to modern life, make my life a little better.

Perhaps I will realise that all the intentions I've listed above aren't really why I'm doing this. Certainly, as I woke up this morning with the thought of my week's resolution in my mind, I felt a sense of lightness and excitement at the idea that this week would have a focus aside from normal daily preoccupations, and perhaps even enlighten me somewhat. So, for fun, for novelty, out of interest, and as an homage to the abandoned resolutions somewhere in the depths of my mind, i will begin. One resolution a week. One weekly analysis of my discoveries, experiences, failures, successes, and the future of my resolution.